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#TheBachelor: AKA, The “‘Who Will Deflower the Virgin?’ Show”

The Bachelor always throws us twists and turns, and being realistic, it’s the drama between the contestants that keeps us watching. Casting provides us with narcissists, naive individuals, competitive types and insecure weaklings. The eclectic group is thrown into a house to duke things out under one roof and vie for the affections of one man.

This year features Colton Underwood in the title role, but in interviews and repeated ad nauseam on the show is an adjective to precede “Bachelor”: VIRGIN. There is much ado about about a male human over the age of 21 who still has his V card. But I mean, look, we were all virgins once, and there are only so many times viewers want to hear about Colton’s sexual status – or lack thereof.

Were it not for the petty house fights and guest appearances by none other than Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman and Billy Eichner to keep us entertained, many of us would be screaming at our TV screens. Well, some of us still are.

The more experienced women in the house have a thirsty air about them, wanting to be the first to hook up with this unlikely virgin who is not waiting for marriage, but the “right person”. He’s made it pretty clear in previews that he hopes it happens in The Bachelor fantasy suites. Wouldn’t you want your first time to be documented on a national prime time show?

Since sex is a more stressed undercurrent this season, I imagine mothers cringing at home watching their daughters convey that they want to be the seductress of the season. If it were the other way around, with a female virgin as the lead (especially in these modern times), we’d get a very rapey and predatory vibe. Euphemistically, we can use words like “cougar” and “more experienced” in this scenario to justify what has become the “Who wants to deflower the Virgin?” show. Of course, I’m guilty of watching, but that doesn’t negate the creepiness.

So, who will get Colton’s final rose and provide him with this rite of passage – documented on ABC? Stay tuned to inexplicably long episodes on Monday nights at 8pm.

(Pictured: Colton Underwood and comedian Billy Eichner, Photo Source: E! Online)

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