#NXIVM: That “Kiss-Ass” New York Times Magazine Piece

Those who know a ton about NXIVM are outraged by yesterday’s New York Times Magazine piece https://mobile.nytimes.com/2018/05/30/magazine/sex-cult-empowerment-nxivm-keith-raniere.html. Writer Vanessa Grigoriadis went “inside NXIVM” as much as she possibly could – meaning, as much as the group, which had banned media for 14 years prior to her arrival, would allow.

Her access seemed to have been greatly controlled, and the people she met with (including Nancy Salzman, Clare Bronfman, Keith Raniere and Allison Mack) used carefully crafted language that reflected intense media training.

The result may have been the most positive coverage of NXIVM as an “empowerment group” to date. Which is truly baffling. The lengthy article omitted numerous important negative aspects like the “terrorism by litigation” (Raniere ex Toni Natalie’s term) that Raniere and Bronfman vengefully subjected former members to.

Frank Parlato, the NXIVM publicist- turned NXIVM whistleblower, took to his website The Frank Report (www.FrankReport.com) to document the glaring ironies and inaccuracies in Grigoriadis’s piece. Shortly after, he and I corresponded:

“I think she (Grigoriadis) was selected by Clare Bronfman’s PR team to deliver a positive story for them and she did deliver a positive story for them. This was good public relations work by Bronfman. The problem is: it is a case of too little, too late. Raniere got arrested between the interview and the publication of the story. The story was meant to protect Raniere from getting arrested, show Allison created DOS and that all of it was consensual, but it came out too late which proves that timing is everything in PR. Against the backdrop of negative PR, it hardly moves the needle.”

I then asked a friend of mine what her thoughts were on this article. She is extremely well-versed in NXIVM facts as a voracious reader with a photographic memory. She often refers to herself as an “armchair psychologist” and frequently shares insight with me. She is also fascinated with and keeps current on every aspect of this cult. “It was a very kiss-ass article,” she remarked, “It was like a PR piece and everyone was prepped. Frank (Parlato) must be pissed.”

In fact, Frank Parlato did have a lot more to say:

“…On the other hand, it shows that Bronfman money can even buy a positive story in The NY Times. Lastly, my best laugh came from Raniere crying about Pam Cafritz his late pimp woman. Those were tears on cue. He never showed emotion to his followers when she died. But maybe the tears were real – for himself. Pam could get him the underage and pretty young women workout resorting to branding. Allison replaced her as head pimp and she did not have Cafritz’s talent for pimping and had to use branding. The gentle dove Raniere, crying for his lost love and speaking of the importance of intimacy and love while he lies to a harem telling them each he is going to father their avatar baby. Maybe Trump should hire her PR people.”

It is worth reading The Frank Report to see not only how Frank Parlato himself dissects Grigoriadis’s article, but to note the comments section that is filled with feedback from NXIVM defectors.

A “fluff piece” on NXIVM – at least an article that appears as such – just seems incredibly ill-timed with Raniere’s next hearing scheduled for June 13th…Plus ALL ELSE that’s recently come to light.

Cults, Uncategorized

#NXIVM: “‘The Bully Grows Up’?”

Bowen Xiao of The Epoch Times recently wrote a piece on Keith Raniere, the cult leader of NXIVM, and specifically what he was like as a child. It turns out that Raniere was a brute, tormenting young girls regularly and generally acting like a braggart. I once worked with a woman who wrote a book titled The Bully Grows Up where you come to understand why the bully harassed other children at the end, and then, you see the change in him for the better as he matures. You learn that he has evolved into a reflective and contrite young adult. Sometimes, just like in that book, our childhood aggressors do mature to become lovely individuals who have learned from their past mistakes…

(Message to me from an online “bully” – AKA anonymous troll. I’d this tweet sounds like utter lunacy, that’s because it is)

(Just a few short months earlier, the same anonymous twitter user was exceedingly friendly in a direct message, complimenting my writing as being “top notch“)

However, when you read the story linked to below, you’ll see how Raniere’s childhood conduct was a precursor to his absurdly volatile behavior as an adult. I always want to believe “It Gets Better” when I hear about child bullies, but there are plenty of adults in the world who continually dispel that notion for me on a daily basis.

Here’s the story of Keith Raniere as a kid:

https://www.theepochtimes.com/exclusive-delving-into-the-childhood-of-nxivms-leader_2540043.html

Special thanks to The Frank Report by Frank Parlato for alerting me to The Epoch Times story.

Cults, Uncategorized

#NXIVM: Is a Famous Deprogrammer Working on Allison Mack? (The Frank Report)

If you’ve been following this blog for a bit, you’ve no doubt caught on to my fascination with the cult NXIVM, pronounced “Nexium” like the purple pill for heartburn. To refresh: The group started as a multilevel marketing company that started offering professional development courses. However, the cult head Keith Raniere was a master manipulator/brainwasher/hypnotist able to convince followers of the most inane things. He amassed a harem filled with many underage – and underfed – girls. The wealthy Bronfman heiresses joined the group to largely fund it (and ultimately, run it) and actress Allison Mack (of WB’s Smallville) fell hard for Keith’s esoteric jargon claiming to have all of life’s answers.

NXIVM has become the ultimate press tantilizer because it is alleged that Allison Mack recruited women for its DOS (Dominance Over Slave) division. There are so many aspects to NXIVM besides sexual trafficking, but we’ll focus on that one nugget today.

From The Frank Report — FrankReport.com

Is Allison Mack getting deprogrammed by Steve Hassan?

May 27, 2018

Vice.com’s Sarah Berman’s interview with famous cult deprogrammer, Steve Hassan, raises many interesting points. Berman is one of those excellent reporters who takes the time to actually learn about the topics she writes about and is ahead of more than 99 percent of the journalists writing about NXIVM. A good story to read if you haven’t already.

One of our readers, who used the name Village Diane, made this comment:

“There is a ‘Very Interesting’ tidbit in the Vice article where cult expert Steve Hassan is interviewed about NXIVM. Hassan says he has worked with ex-members. These ex-members report that they have no memory of their very first meeting with Keith. These are 2-4 hour meetings. Hassan thinks Keith used NLP. But I suspect hypnosis, based on Toni Natalie’s experience. Hypnosis is bad enough. But is it also possible that Keith pulled a “Bill Cosby” on them while they were “unconscious?” [i.e. used some kind of drug].

Hassan admitted to Berman that he is working with ex-NXIVM members. His profession forbids him to name who they are. In fact, he might be working with a current NXIVM member – Allison Mack – who by the terms of her bail is forced away from contact with any NXIVM people past or present. [Her Vanguard she cannot see or speak to for he in jail awaiting trial].

Mack may be unwillingly enduring deprogramming efforts as a condition imposed by her sadder but much wiser [and poorer] parents.

If this is true, Hassan may do much more than deprogram her. He might save her from years in prison. If Allison could discover a reality that her Vanguard was a selfish, despicable, brute who stole her life from her – she might be more inclined to support the cause of justice and assist the DOJ in their effort to get justice for the many victims of Raniere.

Allison seems to be in that twilight world of being part victim and part victimizer. She hangs in the balance. That balance could tip toward or against her. If she assisted the DOJ with honest information and forthright testimony, she might get a reasonable plea offer that could spare her a decade or more in prison. On the other hand if she goes into the night lying for Raniere to save him – as she has been taught or programmed, then I rather doubt she will be acquitted and the sentence will be harsh indeed. It may be 15 years or longer.

Let us pray for Allison and for Hassan. From what I am told, Allison is a most brainwashed customer.

She would do the most vile evil for the man she believes is all -good Keith Raniere. Is she brainwashed?

***

The Daily Beast has a story about the Perennial Beast – Clare Bronfman.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/sex-slaves-branding-and-blackmail-graphic-court-docs-shed-light-on-nxivm-sex-cult

***

Salinas Connection with Clinton?

A reader, Empty Wood writes — Mr Parlato, not sure if you are aware but this was released recently.

http://media.aclj.org/pdf/Full-Clinton-Email-production-Mar-Apr.pdf

New Clinton state dept emails. In it is a peculiar one between Doug Band (Clinton foundation) and Huma Abedin that mentions Salinas.

I thought of NXIVM immediately. Anyway, hope it helps.

The Brace

As a new school year started, teachers debuted new haircuts and new curricula, leaves changed in the recess field, and in seventh grade, bra straps showed through diaphanous Ts. It was the pre-Claire Danes era of 1987, yet it was “my so-called life.” I walked up the steps to my new classroom, ramrod straight lest my big plastic secret rear its ugly head.

While former awkward ducklings turned into pre-pubescent swans around me, while retainers and headgears were discarded to the dismay of thriving orthodontists, while Accutane showed promise but still no risk, I remained the Outsider. In an oversized rugby, a cornstarched body underneath a cotton tanktop, to protect me from what was underneath all that — an underarm back brace — I prayed to be invisible.

I had been wearing the brace for a year now, and I never stopped being on high alert, not for one iota of a millisecond.

“Hey Shira, what’s that?” Knock, knock. “Oh, never mind. Ha ha ha!” The blood would rush to my face when I realized that the knocking was on my brace, and then I felt drained of that blood. I couldn’t possibly stand any straighter to hide it. They knew.

The taunts from “the clique” (our terms for the most popular girls and boys of the grade) were few because mostly they left me completely alone. Being seen speaking with me would be the social kiss of death. I was one of the nerds and not worthy of their time, so teasing carried risk to one’s social status.

Then that summer I went to camp. The kids were different there. They thought I had beautiful eyes and told me so, they saw that I was sincere and kind, and they saw me. Still, I couldn’t seem to stand up straighter, and sometimes, I would rebelliously stash the brace under my bed and leave the bunk without it just to be free. A weight was lifted during those times, and I had to remind myself to act free and shake the stiffness.

The other girls my age were wearing their first bras, so I, too, strategically placed my bra straps so that they would show. I was a cool girl now, and I was growing up with the rest of them.

But once fall started again, new teachers came in with new attitudes, and the same students from the year before ignored me. It seemed that the teachers favored them for being pretty and having minds unmuddled by confidence issues. Those minds were the tabula rasa for excellent grades, and those students exuded exclusivity.

Every Friday night, my mother reminded me that I had only one school year to go, that I would be entering high school soon, and, she reminded me, I still had to wear the brace. It was correcting the curvature of my spine — my scoliosis — and I was lucky because I would grow up to have a straight spine and great posture and not be an uncomfortable hunchback (she didn’t actually say the last part, but I knew the implications of wearing the brace through its course).

My grandmother cursed the “stinkin’ rotten children” who were making me cry, and I felt that she alone was my true ally. She knew bad times. After all, she had lived through the Great Depression. I compared my new bully, a male classmate who had begun the ritual of kicking me under the desk (hard!), to Adolf Hitler without worrying about the hyperbole, and we bonded some more.

I chose the high school that was furthest away, the one that nobody from my class was considering. I didn’t pay attention to any other details about it except that it was the most remote and unlikely choice for a fellow classmate. While the new school had an ideology that was furthest from my own, I didn’t care. I made friends, and shortly after starting my first semester, I got great news: I only had to wear the brace at night. My secret could really be my secret now; no one had a chance of seeing it poke out in the rare moment when I forgot to stand robotically erect.

And then I found boys. I was in an all-girls school, but I met members of the opposite gender through friends. I enjoyed flirting and being admired and finding out what the opposite sex really thought of me when they didn’t know. There was definitely “a type” of boy and then, eventually, young man that I liked. In short: a jerk. It was time to make the boy who kicked me under the table sorry; it was time to make him see me for who I really was..

Unsurprisingly, that didn’t work out too well, and in retrospect, it was a short-lived phase.

At 15, the brace was fully off, but I still felt braced, guarded, insecure. I wondered if the popular-seeming people found me interesting enough, and I wondered so much that my thinking was cloudy. I was blocked, and some saw that I was blocked — and distanced themselves. And I did a little dance: withdraw, act free, withdraw, act free. I was inconsistent and puzzling to the people around me. Yet, I did make a few good friends, and eventually, I stopped caring about being popular and just focused on those great friendships. And then, I stopped thinking about how I was acting. And soon it wasn’t acting; it was being.

Eventually, I made many friends and more friendly acquaintances, and I realized that once I had shed my consciousness of social status and being popular, I actually was popular.

I also came to discover what a great relationship with a man consisted of, and although I continued to make mistakes in that department (off and on until prior to meeting my husband), I changed my tune — and my “type.”

I still have dreams about the brace. I threw it out so long ago, in a garbage can outside my parents’ home (I didn’t even wonder if it needed to be in recycling), but as clear as day it shows up some nights.

It is there when I meet new people whom I am unsure about. It is there when my judgement is questioned, when my children’s teachers chastise me for being late to pick-up. It is there when I accentuate my figure and realize that I’m accentuating my figure because I want to show it, because I hid it for so long when I was younger (and later on, in pregnancies). It is there when I question why I haven’t accomplished all my professional goals or why I haven’t published the novel I wrote in 2001. It is there as I write this now and wonder what you’ll think. You see, I can’t stop bracing myself.

Under my arm, cutting into my skin, velcroed behind my back, the memory is vivid.

It is there, but it is also not.

(Photo by Scoliosis Support on Instagram)

Moms, Television

#Netflix: Grace & Frankie’s June Diane Raphael Is Just As Amazing Off-Screen: An Interview

(I originally wrote this article for Huffington Post.)

I recently interviewed Peter Cambor of Showtime’s Roadies who also plays Barry, boyfriend of Brianna on Netflix’s hit series Grace & Frankie. While chatting with Cambor’s publicist, I casually mentioned that I am also a big fan of June Diane Raphael who plays Brianna on G&F.

At the time, I considered my admission terribly geeky and was not expecting what I heard in response: “Would you like to interview her?” Uh, hells yeah!

The hilarious Raphael is not only on my radar screen for Grace & Frankie where she shines alongside Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston, but since I began my foray into the wonderful world of podcasts, I have listened to her as a guest (Bitch Sesh and Ronna & Beverly) and a co-host with her husband, comedian Paul Scheer (How Did this Get Made?). I have also seen her play a realtor on Netflix’s quirky comedy series Lady Dynamite and have caught up retroactively on earlier work she produced with co-writer and best friend, comedian Casey Wilson (the movie Ass Backwards).

Sometimes when you speak with someone you admire, it’s a let-down – like that certain 90s actor who blew ringlets of smoke in my face and asked me to go on some more about how I liked his work. However, chatting with Raphael was everything I had hoped for and more. She started off our phone conversation by saying she has a “dear friend named Shira Weiss” (sister in law to Casey Wilson who also guested on a Bitch Sesh episode) so it had been funny to see my name in the emails preceding our interview. Instantly, she felt like a “friend in my head” (to quote Wendy Williams) with her endearingly warm tone, humility and the way you could tell she really listens when you talk.

An extremely busy mom to an almost 2 year old with another child on the way, she is currently filming season 3 of Grace & Frankie and spends a lot of time writing comedy when not filming, so we spoke early in the morning for 20 minutes.

SW: I came to know you through Grace & Frankie but as a Bitch Sesh fan, I went & caught up on your prior work, particularly with Casey Wilson. How has being on such a hit show with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin changed your

day-to-day and your fame?

JDR: There’s a misconception that actors and writers in the alternative comedy scene want to avoid the more mainstream. It’s not true for me. I pursued it, but this is the first thing that I’m in that really became a hit in this way. I have to say it’s nice to alternate between different types of comedy. I’ve always felt so supported by the comedy fan community who has been with me since the early days, really smart people who will follow you to the ends of the earth. They have been amazing with feedback and with recommending my work to others who wouldn’t necessarily find it. People who follow more mainstream comedy will say “Who is she and where did she pop up from?” but I’ve actually been doing this for a while so it’s really nice and flattering to be newly discovered by these people who knew nothing about me. Overall, I don’t feel any different. More opportunities are coming my way. More people have seen G&F who are just now seeking out old work I did. As far as ‘fame,’ I can still walk down the street with a lot of ease and comfort.

My dad watches this show and that has felt like great support. His peer group loves it and he loves it! It’s addressing issues that he and his friends are dealing with. On a very personal level, that validation from a parent has been great. The show means a lot to our parents, addressing some stuff that’s not really talked about. It’s been nice to see that they feel represented, which they should.

SW: From what I read, you just announced that your second child is on the way. What’s it like filming Seasion 3 of G & F during a pregnancy & juggling new motherhood?

JDR: I feel supported with the pregnancy. The struggle I’m having, to be honest, is with really putting my body out there. With Season 1, I had just had a baby and now I’m pregnant. I’m not feeling like myself and how I would present myself given the choice. Some women drop pounds from breastfeeding, but I didn’t start losing weight until I stopped. Suddenly, I was the heaviest I’d ever been now doing a job that was going to reach the most people. The reality is that it’s totally normal to have baby weight and I was where I should be: If it takes a year to put on that weight, it should take a year to lose it. So physically putting myself out there in a very public way and not feeling like myself has been challenging. That said, I always say that I have it easier than so many working mothers, and very often when you’ve worked so very hard, the time when you achieve success coincides with when you start a family. While it can be challenging having a young child to take care of while working, I’m not being filmed every day on the show like Jane and Lily are and I have a certain freedom. Though I will say that when I’m not being filmed, I’m busy with my writing career. With my son who is almost 2, I’m feeling a lot more confident today about how I divide my time. And now of course, I am headed into another transition.

Having a child has probably been one of the best things for me because there’s a certain amount of freedom – a not caring what people think. I have this child and know I don’t want to be gone too much so I’ve achieved a balance. If he’s ok, then I’m ok. I’m feeling a lot more freedom to fail. It can actually free you as an artist because you have a different perspective.

SW: You and Casey Wilson (comedian and Bitch Sesh Co-Host) are writing partners and have a certain style as women who are goofy and don’t worry about being ladylike, kind of like Wedding Crashers humor but with girls acting “ass backwards.” With that preamble, how do you want to go down in history as a comedian?

JDR: Well, the movie Ass Backwards we co-wrote (and acted in) and is about the two of us in New York based on our real experiences there and the delusions and dysfunctions of that time period. Of course, we did this with heightened characters. I have such a love of physical comedy and think things can be as broad as possible as long as they’re rooted in some sort of reality. I’m not really as interested in that sort of Indian Sundance comedy…. I enjoy comedies that are going for hard jokes. That said, some of the stuff we’re writing is so different because we’re different. We’’re very curious about female friendships and what goes on, which is Bravo’s ‘Real Housewives’ is so interesting, how they are so aware of themselves being seen on TV as the seasons go on, and it’s actually so funny to get a look into this world. I am absolutely fascinated by female interactions and that will be the crux of my work. The humor in Casey and my work is different because we’re different and want to showcase those type of female friendships. We really do have so much fun together.

SW: You’re married to comedian Paul Scheer. How did you guys meet?

JDR: Paul and I met at the Upright Citizens Brigade in New York. Paul came to see Casey and my performance since he was one of the mainstays of the theater – He was called on to give us feedback on our performance.

SW: How did the opportunity for Grace & Frankie arise?

JDR: Grace & Frankie came along when I was postpartum lying on the couch. It t was the one script I read and I decided I had to go in and audition for.

SW: I think I’m funny, but one of my son’s cringes with embarrassment sometimes. I’m sure that has to be a little different when both parents are professional comics. How do you envision your kids reacting to their parents’ humor as they get older?

JDR: I grew up in a family where my parents were not comedians. My mom worked as a teacher and my dad was in construction. They weren’t into comedy necessarily but were the funniest people I knew. There was such a premium put on making each other laugh at the dinner table. I don’t really care if my kids see my work – I actually hope that they don’t see a lot of it (laughs) – but I hope for a family dynamic that includes

sharing a lot of laughter.

SW: Some quick words on the podcast “Ronna & Beverly” where 2 comedians are in character as older Jewish women with thick Boston accents. They are hilarious and I know you were a guest. I want to turn my friends on to listening to this absolutely brilliant show— What can you say about these fellow comedians as if you were promoting them? What would your advice be so I can get my friends to listen?

JDR: They do have a really committed fan base which you see at their crowded live shows, but their podcast is not as well-known as it should be. All of us in this group of female comedians based in LA have been on each other’s podcast and are friends (this network includes and is not limited to: Jamie Denbo and Jessica Chaffin who play Beverly and Ronna respectively, as well as comedians Jessica St. Claire and Melissa Rauch.) I’m really proud of that and it’s pretty special how everyone is there for one another.

SW: I wish I were funny enough because I’d love to somehow break into that group!

JDR: (laughs) It’s a pretty elite group. Everyone is so super talented that I’m so happy that I, myself can actually be a part of it. But most importantly, it’s so incredible how everyone in this group of women is so supportive of one another!

You can listen to June Diane Raphael on the podcast How Did this Get Made? & if you haven’t seen it, now’s the time to binge watch Seasons of Grace & Frankie on Netflix.

Shira's Got The Scoop!

Monthly Archives: May 2018