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Long Time No Write

I realize that it’s been a super long time since I wrote in this blog. After a very bizarre situation with cyber harassment and doxxing on Twitter, I took a hiatus from public writing. I became a ghostwriter while I focused on my public relations work, predominantly in the arena of tech-focused marketing. I have since realized that hiding is not helping. I greatly miss writing publicly and I miss covering entertainment, waxing philosophical about ridiculous reality TV stars or the ones we greatly adore (and wonder: why would they agree to go on reality TV?!). I wrote for a few local newspapers during this “hiatus,” but I decided to get back to my blog and to open it up. It was locked for a while in private mode while I did some soul searching. The main question during that period of reflection was: How public do I want to be? The answer: I’m not sure, but I do want to get back to researching, investigating, uncovering that which is hidden, interviewing and sharing other’s voices and experiences.

I hope you will join me as I begin this new chapter. As the lyrics of the theme song in the Broadway production of Pippin go: “We’ve got magic to do, just for you. We’ve got miracle plays to play. We got parts to perform, hearts to warm, kings and things to take by storm….as we go along…our way…..”

So, come with me as I forge ahead now in 2021. Let’s see where this journey takes us.

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#LGBTQ Allies: Please Respect the ‘T’!

While many fans of Bravo’s Flipping Out and Jeff Lewis’s show Jeff Lewis Live (on Radio Andy, a channel on Sirius XM) are focused on his split with long-term boyfriend Gage Edwards, the drama of the split and ensuing contentiousness, some took note and were perplexed by a discussion at the top of today’s show.

Actor Doug Budin (Modern Family, 2 Broke Girls) was the guest, and a surprising exchange transpired that had listeners wondering how Jeff Lewis, who is openly gay and has historically expressed support of others’ sexualities and identities, could make certain remarks.

Budin mentioned that three girls from Connecticut who ran track had filed a federal discrimination complaint. It stated that state-wide policy on transgender athletes have led to girls’ top finishes in races, and perhaps, have even led to college scholarships. “This complaint, on behalf of the girls…they’re asking for an investigation into the policy in order to make competitions fair,” said Budin. “This is in Connecticut…and Connecticut – their discrimination policy is [that the schools respect] the gender in which they identify… So that means athletes can compete according to their expressed gender rather than the gender they were born. They’re arguing that transgender athletes are always winning all of these running [competitions]….”

This could have been a moment for Lewis to respond tactfully, and in a way that showed his support for transgender women, but his response could be seen as alarming. Then again, this is Jeff Lewis. History has taught us to expect the unexpected with him, and much of the initial shock value surrounding him has worn off.  Nevertheless, when it came to the topic of transgender individuals, his response took many listeners aback.

“Because they’re dudes!” Lewis exclaimed. “They’re dudes. That’s the problem. I think this has merit, I really do. I’m really looking forward to all the negative social media messages I’m going to get this weekend. Obviously, generally, men are stronger than women. Men average 26 pounds of more skeletal muscle mass than women. Women have 40% less upper body strength and 33% less lower body strength. I like my statistics. I truly believe that whatever their gender was at birth…However in some cases, there’s been hormone therapy, right?  So if they’ve gone through hormone therapy, maybe that’s a different conversation. But these transgender women are consistently winning track and field events. I think only 17 states allow transgender high school athletes to compete. I do think this absolutely has some merit here.”

“I’m ambivalent about it,” Budin responded, “Because if you go through gender reassignment surgery, then you’re a woman. It’s not on what you were. It’s on what you are now.”

To this, Lewis replied: “Yeah, but some of these people…Look at Caitlyn. She’s a big woman. She’s strong. I don’t know. They have a lot of testosterone. It’s a slippery slope. I don’t know.”

Weeks ago, another Bravo star was subjected to scrutiny and scorn because she is known as an LGBTQ ally: Lisa Vanderpump made an off-handed remark during a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills confessional about costar Erika Jayne “tucking.” Erika Girardi has playfully compared her performing alter ego Erika Jayne to a drag queen in the past and has expressed her love for the art of drag. Therefore, many fans did not detect malice from Vanderpump, whereas others found the comment offensive. Vanderpump apologized in a public statement and expressed her full support of transgender individuals, as well as her regret for making a cavalier statement that upset some viewers.

Months ago, fans of the show Vanderpump Rules were disappointed when cast members didn’t fully acknowledge how Billie Lee, a transgender cast mate, could feel left out of an event labeled “Girls’ Night”.

“I understand not liking Billie Lee’s character or her personality,” said one Vanderpump viewer, “But why not have a thorough conversation with her – as [cast mate] Ariana Madix did – acknowledging an understanding of her feelings and properly clarifying the misunderstanding. The fact that they did not come across as empathetic or sympathetic to that is what turned me off.”

What are your thoughts on how Jeff Lewis handled today’s topic on his radio show? Do you think he should have steered the conversation in another direction to avoid potential criticism and controversy, or do you appreciate how he freely expresses his opinions at the risk of backlash?

If there is one thing I’ve learned from the past year of watching reality TV shows, it is that the LGBTQ community has a lot of supporters and people who consider themselves a part of this community, yet there is still a long way to go when it comes to respecting the “T” in LGBTQ.

 

 

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Little Time to Write, But Let’s Make Time Going Forward

The past few weeks have been incredibly busy between familial obligations, studying for an exam, work and odd methods of procrastinating from that work. Unfortunately, I have not really designated time to the writing I so enjoy, or to keeping up with reality television in any sort of meaningful way. That last phrase may sound paradoxical, but as you know, I like to wax philosophical about events of my television shows even when they seem to be entirely shallow and lacking depth….Candidly, there is always something that invites commentary because reality television offers up interesting anthropological case studies as well as psychological ones.

We have a “Real Housewife” who had fallen from grace and off the sobriety wagon on Real Housewives of New York (last season) who is now acting entitled and pretentious. I was rooting for her newfound humility and hoping it would last, but alas…. Now she is a cabaret star and coming across rather egotistical. I always enjoy analyzing how quickly one can be humbled and go right back to exhibiting arrogance. Then on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, there is a terrible rift that began over a dog’s return to a kill shelter rather than to the new canine care center Vanderpump Dogs. Where the dog was taken is bad enough, but what the argument is really about is not the puppy, but whether Lisa Vanderpump historically tries to manipulate storylines, leak info to the press, and get others to do her dirty work. This is about a crew catching on to what seems to be a pattern.Some say it is about trying to overthrow the main character. The opinions range and there are many. Some are so intricately complicated that it feels to me like the commentaries of the Torah weighing in on a simple sentence. I really should not be making that comparison because it seems sacrilegious no matter where I stand spiritually today.

The way people – fans and viewers – staunchly take sides and end up blocking one another on Twitter is a phenomenon in and of itself that I’ve observed with Bravo viewers. I’d love to know if this happens with the 90 Day Fiance community since that’s a show I watched for 90 days before concluding that it usurped too much of my time. Let me know.

The main point of this post is: I am back and will try to update my blog more often. I am planning for some interviews with TV personalities, podcast hosts and others. I hope to weigh in more often and recap the shows we all have in common.

I should add that I did not fall for a single one of your tweets or posts from April Fools Day, so if you wrote something entirely truthful that day that you feel is important for me to know, give me a good old fashioned phone call! We’re still in April and I’m still a skeptic.

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#TheBachelor: AKA, The “‘Who Will Deflower the Virgin?’ Show”

The Bachelor always throws us twists and turns, and being realistic, it’s the drama between the contestants that keeps us watching. Casting provides us with narcissists, naive individuals, competitive types and insecure weaklings. The eclectic group is thrown into a house to duke things out under one roof and vie for the affections of one man.

This year features Colton Underwood in the title role, but in interviews and repeated ad nauseam on the show is an adjective to precede “Bachelor”: VIRGIN. There is much ado about about a male human over the age of 21 who still has his V card. But I mean, look, we were all virgins once, and there are only so many times viewers want to hear about Colton’s sexual status – or lack thereof.

Were it not for the petty house fights and guest appearances by none other than Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman and Billy Eichner to keep us entertained, many of us would be screaming at our TV screens. Well, some of us still are.

The more experienced women in the house have a thirsty air about them, wanting to be the first to hook up with this unlikely virgin who is not waiting for marriage, but the “right person”. He’s made it pretty clear in previews that he hopes it happens in The Bachelor fantasy suites. Wouldn’t you want your first time to be documented on a national prime time show?

Since sex is a more stressed undercurrent this season, I imagine mothers cringing at home watching their daughters convey that they want to be the seductress of the season. If it were the other way around, with a female virgin as the lead (especially in these modern times), we’d get a very rapey and predatory vibe. Euphemistically, we can use words like “cougar” and “more experienced” in this scenario to justify what has become the “Who wants to deflower the Virgin?” show. Of course, I’m guilty of watching, but that doesn’t negate the creepiness.

So, who will get Colton’s final rose and provide him with this rite of passage – documented on ABC? Stay tuned to inexplicably long episodes on Monday nights at 8pm.

(Pictured: Colton Underwood and comedian Billy Eichner, Photo Source: E! Online)

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Bigotry, Homophobia, Real Housewives, RHONJ, Uncategorized

#BravoTV Wants NOTHING to Do with Him, But It Needs to Be Said

If the old school adage uttered by Jennifer Aydin on Real Housewives of New Jersey (“The husband is the head, but the woman is the neck and the neck can swivel the head and have control over it”) has any merit, a certain neck of a RHONJ alumnus could swivel the egomaniacal head above it.

However, as I write this, I’ve gotten word that the obstinate “neck” is stiff and upright in defense of her husband and other “good christians” who spread the gospel of homophobia.

Ok, so the Bible has its passages, Jim points out, and he is entitled (wrongly) to be angry that there are gay people in this world. He doesn’t seem to grasp that we are all wired the way we are in terms of sexuality. He doesn’t seem to have kept up with the articles or listened to the excellent podcast Unerased. He thinks being gay is a lifestyle choice.

His wife has indicated she backs him up in the flawed logic that gayness is an urge to fight off and not succumb to.

I want to insert here that some of us are somewhere on the Kinsey scale. Bisexuality is a real thing for those wondering about the depiction of Freddie Mercury in the Bohemian Rhapsody biopic. The comedic duo of Ronna & Beverly used to have a bit about there being a spectrum: “a little bit gay, a little bit straight…our show is for everyone.” For those who got the humor, their ridiculous ramblings resonated and the podcast (now on indefinite hiatus) amassed a cult following, within the LGBTQ community and elsewhere.

Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s former fledgling cast member Jim Marchese (pictured, husband to former RHONJ Housewife Amber) doesn’t get it. The question is: Why use his platform to spew hatred about homosexuality? What is his PERSONAL issue with it? Why not comment on something that doesn’t affect him personally?

Some have suggested that those who lash out in this manner do so because of their own internal battles. Perhaps Jim is projecting onto the LGBTQ community because he’s wrestling with his own demons and indoctrinated guilt? Maybe he doesn’t believe he’s a good Christian. Or maybe this is just who he is, a person who chooses a group to lash out at in order to pass the time. It could be a publicity stunt to remain relevant…which will have many people mad at me for even writing about it.

Something to consider is that there was that domestic dispute between he and his wife years ago on an airplane. The result was that law enforcement got involved. Parlaying their “15 minutes” from RHONJ into more TV time, they appeared on the show Marriage Bootcamp to address their public dysfunctions and (presumably) to salvage their union.

Maybe his (highly erroneous) form of penance is speaking out on all things he thinks aren’t “right” in the world.

However, the way he’s going about it is all wrong. See how Twitter has reacted (I of course had to weigh in because of my passion for the LGBTQ community and my friends who are even more offended by JM’s intolerant views than I am –which is saying something. I wasted several tweets on the vile man yesterday.)

As for the Bravo network and the RHONJ production company Sirens Media, they want us to either forget Jim and Amber Marchese ever existed, or acknowledge how far they’ve come with casting better people.

Viewers have mixed opinions on the current cast, but are thankful that Jim Marchese is only currently starring on The Big Twitter Shit Show From New Jersey.

Hang in there: it’s about to lose audience members.

(Featured Photo Source: RADAR ONLINE)

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