#PumpRules: Is Billie Lee Trying to Make Fetch Happen?

(Photo source: ItsMeBillieLee.com) Billie Lee may have made the inevitable move of Vanderpump Rules cast mates past initiation, stirring the pot to make something into something much bigger. Or, she may have made a legitimate point about insensitive cast mates. Unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until the drama (currently being filmed) unfolds next season to find out and decide for ourselves.

In the interim, fans of the show took to social media to call out the newest cast addition for creating drama where perhaps there needn’t have been any… ? I deliberately put that question mark there since I personally don’t know what to make of this most recent Vanderpump brouhaha.

Billie Lee’s recent tweets seem to indicate she wasn’t invited to a girls’ night with coworkers, and she suggests it’s because she is transgender. However, viewers saw Billie Lee embraced wholeheartedly by all her costars this past season.

Fans are now speculating online that this most recent debacle might have something to do with Billie Lee’s character…or the cast’s general cliquish ways, and nothing at all to do with being transgender.

Vanderpump Rules cast member Tom Schwartz suggests Billie Lee is making a mountain out of a mole hill

Others pointed to an Instagram post where Billie Lee is “tagged” about the upcoming girls’ night and even responds positively, citing that exchange as the “invitation”.

It is impossible to determine at this point what is truly going on behind the scenes. Billie Lee may have some legit gripes about her cast mates, and this very likely will feed in to a greater storyline when Vanderpump Rules returns.

Her tweets about not being invited remind me of Dorinda Medley yelling at Sonja Morganon Real Housewives of New York about using her ex’s family crest for her shoe line (#ItsNotAboutTheCrest):

I suspect there’s a lot more to this argument than meets the eye.

We’ll have to wait until next season of Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules to find out.

Judaism, public figures, Religion

Martin Luther King’s Impact on Judaism

Not too long ago, I was trying to think of ways to teach my young children about Martin Luther King. While searching online for books about Rosa Parks and “I had a Dream,” a certain Facebook thread caught my eye. A close friend had just seen Rabbi Capers Funnye – an African American convert to Judaism and the head rabbi of a Chicago synagogue – in a local restaurant. Rabbi Funnye, who according to The New York Times used to hear the joke “Funnye, you don’t look Jewish,” is also a cousin of Michelle Obama.

Apparently, he was in the neighborhood speaking about African American Jewry as part of a series of similar lectures taking place across the country.

In addition to being the first African American “Head Rabbi” of a synagogue, Funnye co-founded the Alliance of Black Jews in 1995. I thought how appropriate it was that my friend’s sighting took place the night before Martin Luther King Day. According to Funnye, King is his hero, the predecessor who set the groundwork for the Rabbi’s tremendous efforts and strides.

In recent times, Rabbi Funnye has brought a lot of positive attention to the African American Jewish community, one that is being embraced by Jews across the nation and finally getting the recognition and respect it deserves. Despite encountering some initial hesitation as the first and only black “Head Rabbi,” Funnye contends in the New York Times article, “I am a Jew, and that breaks through all color and ethnic barriers.”

While reading about Funnye and how he decided to convert to Judaism after extensive exploration into religion (converting is no easy feat for anyone regardless of race, nor is being born Jewish!), I decided I had something to add to what I was teaching my children. Martin Luther King Jr. did not just impact the world, he did not just pave the way for other African American leaders who we respect today, but he impacted the Jewish community as well. Rabbi Funnye is evidence of that. Imagine how much harder the rabbi would have had to work to represent the African American Jewish community had there been no King. Funnye’s continuous, tireless efforts might be fruitless today had it not been for his influential predecessor.

It is my hope that my children have the opportunity to meet Rabbi Funnye at an upcoming talk and see how far not only our country, but our religion, has come since Martin Luther King Jr. spoke and shared his dream.

Originally published here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shira-hirschman-weiss/martin-luther-king-impact_b_810063.html.

Reality TV

#BB20: Cruel Cruel Summers

As a mother of four fairly independent sons, I feel a little less atrocious excusing myself to steal away for guilty pleasure TV consumption..

than I did when my youngest two were toddlers.

However, the fascination with the erratically scheduled reality show Big Brother began at an inconvenient period of my life, a time when I was more apologetic about cramming it in.

“Why are you watching this show now?” my husband once asked nearly a decade ago, “Didn’t this take up an hour of your time last night?” Sheepishly, I replied “Yeah, they announced last night that it would continue tonight. It’s a major competition secluding people in a house who rarely see sunlight. The schedule NEEDS to be condensed so people can return to their lives.”

It was as if that could explain it all away. To strike a compromise regarding time allotment, I made the decision to break from all other programs on all other networks. It’s ludicrous how much of a commitment today’s TV shows require (also see: The Bachelorette, 90 Day Fiance, shows that often demand 2 hour chunks of viewing a singular episode).

As I nursed my newborn twins nearly nine years ago, I somehow was rapt by the day-to-day minutiae of polarizing strangers sharing a house with the end-goal of being the last one in it. Alliances form in the process of plotting to overtake the house, but none can truly be trusted as the individualistic objective is to wipe everyone else out.

Astoundingly creative physical and mental competitions are held to secure positioning in the house as well as one’s safety. Far more captivating however, are the social dynamics and inevitable backstabbing that occur on Big Brother. Viewers find those scenarios most relatable as they are metaphorical to everyone’s lives. Consider the themes of: Trust, loyalty and how one maintains dignity while trying to come out on top. How many real life situations can you apply to that symbolic structure?

I’m not one to play underhanded social games, but I’ve been on the receiving end of them. I have had to learn how to combat sneaky people, plotting and competitive coworkers and the like… Ignoring folks is the strategy I most often employ, but that’s far from an option in this reality TV game if your desire is to triumph.

Another aspect of Big Brother that has me glued to the tube? “Showmances”. It is always fascinating to me to observe and note how romantic relationships form either due to boredom (There is a lot of downtime for contestants who are stripped of phones, technology or anything connecting them to the outside world and its news), bonding over shared duress, or legitimate connections that wouldn’t have formed had a bunch of random people not been thrown together under the same roof. More importantly, under the same roof sans outside interference or assistance.

The anachronistic notion of not being able to Google or Facebook- research a romantic interest rings sweeter in today’s day and age. Of course, you cannot help but ponder whether or not a couple will have staying power beyond their seclusion in the dry-aired B.B. House. There, the rare glimpse of sunlight (in limited outside moments restricted to right beside the house and no farther) is a treat.

From an anthropological viewpoint, what’s almost as intriguing as the game dynamics is the way the show has usurped the summer hours of its fan base. It is one thing to be committed to a television program, but quite another to pay for the show’s much-dissected “live feeds.” Many fans do this and what that entails is tuning in to the events of the house as they occur 24/7. With the feeds, fans get to witness a lot of the dramatic happenings that will ultimately be left on the cutting room floor.

The live feeds have also inspired an entire social media subculture: Fans interact with one another and weigh in on occurrences that do not necessarily make it to the televised footage.

From an objective standpoint, you might declare “why would I be interested in the every move of a stranger in a house?” Bear in mind that those in charge of casting have not chosen humdrum, uncomplicated individuals. They’ve selected a deliberately eclectic mix, while foreseeing intense clashes and connections.

Troy McEady tweets about being glued to the Big Brother live feeds each summer.

They have also chosen contestants with a wide range of views, knowing that some of the more conservative notions will garner shock and dismay from the more liberal critics (and vis versa).

The B.B. experience reminds me of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” book series that was so popular during my childhood in the 1980s.

As this is the 20th season of Big Brother, there was no social media when the show was first created two decades ago. However, from early on, B.B. called upon the audience to impact the game. In the age of social media, it is an exquisitely simple feat, with the viewers choosing game twists and even godawful meal selections (such as what constitutes “slop”) as punishments for the contestants.

Know that watching Big Brother may require a far greater commitment from you than you ever imagined possible. Once you become interested, you’re likely to become invested.

Suddenly, you may find yourself not only choosing players’ adventures…..

but how you spend your summer.

Bravo TV, Reality TV, Uncategorized

#RHOD Returns 8/15: Some of the Drama Ahead…

I had just learned that Brandi Redmond was quite upset about my interview with her cast mate.

Following a post-Season Two Q&A conducted by phone with LeeAnne Locken for Huffington Post (My HuffPo Interview with Leeanne Locken), I was feeling good.

It had been a really fun interview with a polarizing, unfiltered Real Housewife who I found to be delightfully candid about her many on-camera faux pas and faults. Locken also knocked the loyalty of her wishy-washy castmate Brandi Redmond who had her back at the start of the season, then turned on her, and then, surprisingly, reached out warmly after filming wrapped.

I had hit publish and within minutes, I was getting feedback on social media from those who liked Leeanne and others who lambasted her. Then I saw I had a direct message…Surprisingly, it was from Brandi Redmond herself.

Brandi wondered when I had spoken to Leeanne because she found the following words in the interview to be quite hurtful:

Since the season ended, Brandi has actually reached out to me. But it’s like the frog and the scorpion. The scorpion tells the frog ‘Why would I sting you?’ and convinces the frog to give him a ride across the pond. When the scorpion stings, the frog asks ‘Why did you do that?’ and the scorpion answers ‘Because I’m a scorpion.’

I felt somewhat caught in the middle, but let both ladies know it’s a show and we viewers have widely varying reactions – essentially, not to get worked up about the interview because everyone will have different takeaways. Easy for me to say as someone who would NEVER go on reality television…Instead, I just (hypocritically) write about the people who do.

A source close to the Real Housewives of Dallas cast members tells me that some of the interviews the ladies did with members of the media (i.e. websites, blogs, podcasts, on-air interviews) caused tension during filming. Because it’s very much “breaking the fourth wall,” I don’t expect Brandi to mention the interviewers by name, but my source says the theme of what was said in interviews may come up this season. It seems very meta, but also extremely possible: If you watched Season Two, then you know that these ladies excel at rehashing what smack was said about whom behind who’s back….

The new season of RHOD begins August 15th at 9/8c. Here’s a look at some more of the drama ahead: RHOD Season 3 Trailer

Bravo TV, Psychology, public figures, Reality TV

An Abundance of Ashleys

Between the years of 1983 and 1988, “Ashley” was a top choice for American parents naming baby girls. It was, in fact, the second most popular girl’s name in the nation in 1985, which means if you are a Millennial, there’s a good chance you know an Ashley or two…or seven as I currently have programmed in my phone.

On reality television now, there are three Ashleys – within the aforementioned cohort – who have people talking. Perhaps there is a special formula for all Ashleys to crack (one I wish I knew!) because each of the three Ashleys I’m about to discuss have either had to overcome hurdles in the maze of reality TV, perception and reality, or are still bumbling through that complicated labyrinth.

Let’s begin with Ashley Iaconetti from The Bachelor franchise. This Ashley first came to our collective attention during Chris Soules’ season of The Bachelor. She was the emotionally overwrought Kardashian lookalike who seemed to cry on a whim. She also quickly became known to us for another more notable characteristic: being the virgin and was rapidly embraced by Bachelor Nation, the dysfunctional franchise-family that feverishly recycles favorites in spinoffs. So of course, Ashley appeared, and shed a ton of tears, on Bachelor in Paradise and later found lust on Bachelor Winter Games.

After many overly emotional scenes and plenty of loud sobs regarding being relegated to the “friend zone,” Iaconetti’s long-time pal and crush from Paradise finally started to reciprocate her feelings. She had cried over him in Paradise and had been encouraged to give up hope by their mutual friend (former Bachelor) Nick Viall. Years and too many tears later, after baring her soul to cameras ad nauseum, Ioconetti has been publicly vindicated, I guess: The object of her documented obsession, Jared Haibon, recently proposed. The perpetually pining princess will need to be recast as the fiance who turned her commitment phobic pumpkin into her prince.

Another Ashley who some of you are familiar with is Ashley Borders of Southern Charm Savannah. I wasn’t wild about the show, a sentiment not uncommon among Bravo fans, but I found this Ashley endearing even before I had the chance to meet her in person and confirm this.

A crowd of white, somewhat wealthy Savannians were introduced to us as a group of friends – except immediately, we got the sense that Borders was more of a free spirit. This was especially so when juxtaposed with the more traditional, snooty Southerner cast mates. They seemed stuck in the past and we witnessed how they were so bothered by Borders’ bathing suit-clad bod and the effect it might have on the taken men. It was clear that Borders was merely an on-camera friend to those who shunned her on the show, and we got a glimpse of the more liberal Savannians who accepted her, like the cute jewelry designer who appears in one episode.

According to one of my sources in Savannah, Ashley was demoted from a main cast member to a “friend of” for the soon to be airing Season Two. This was because the least likable, most stodgy and snobbish cast mates refused to film with her. Luckily enough, not all of them are total dicks, so although Borders will not get the redemption season she deserves after cast mates lambasted her last season, she will appear in a few scenes this time around.

Last season, while focused on her fashion career, she had a side gig with Delta airlines that afforded her travel opportunities. Her cast mates made a big deal about the side gig, calling her dishonest because she didn’t talk as much about it. In doing so, they unwittingly brought attention to their elitist and classist notions about career choices.

Ashley Borders’ liberal views and openness towards those from all walks of life, made her a breath of fresh air alongside this catty and cliquish crew. It will be interesting to see if she gets some redemption in her diminished role this season. Perhaps refraining from having to hang out too much with elitist cast mates is vindication enough for anyone.

The last of the Ashleys on my mind is the most talked about currently. Ashley Jacobs of Bravo’s Southern Charm (the original Southern Charm, as Savannah is a newer addition to the main franchise) is getting a lot of attention for her missteps on the show, as well as backfiring efforts to repair her image via social media.

Jacobs has had a really tough season and is in over her head as a reality television rookie. The hospice nurse attached herself to a paramour with a personal baggage, including the fact that he and his ex (the mother of his two kids) film together seasonally. It has not gone well for Jacobs who clashes on camera during the current season with Kathryn Dennis, mom to her beau Thomas Ravenel’s children.

While initially welcomed by the rest of the crew, they have taken several steps back from Jacobs and rallied around Dennis. The shifting allegiances, and the apparent disdain for Jacobs that has grown since cameras stopped rolling, attest to several complicated off-camera storylines.

The gossip blogs have played their own part in pitting the Charmers against one another.

While everyone loves a comeback and a redemption tale, many fans feel she is beyond reproach and that the influences behind her behavior, the motives and some of the individuals who nudged her behavior along (i.e. those bloggers), will never be revealed to the public.

To me, it would be a shame if we don’t get to see how bloggers contributed, how Jacobs’ relationship with Ravenel factored in, and whether or not Jacobs will acknowledge her bad behaviors after the upcoming reunion airs…Even more so, when ample time passes and realities (beyond reality TV) set in.

Whether Jacobs will have her opportunity to turn the tide and change the minds is something that seems more uncertain than what is likely for the other Ashleys. Her words seemed more astounding, more regrettable and her actions post-filming more shocking. However, when a person takes major initiatives to revamp their life and starts to see things differently, it’s a beginning towards healing all that has been greatly damaged. Having seen young reality stars mature and become more humbled by public reaction, who knows what could happen in the future after life changes offer new perspectives….In the United States of Amnesia, (to borrow the late Gore Vidal’s term) I’ve witnessed fans change their minds when it previously seemed impossible.

Perhaps there is some formula for all Ashleys to follow in order to become successful – especially in this arena of reality television. Or maybe you don’t believe there’s anything significant about a particular name. Rather, that the three Ashleys above coincidently had rough starts, and faced the challenge of being scrutinized by cast mates, viewers and the world of social media.

In the event that it’s not a fluke, here are Things To Know About the Name Ashley if you happen to be an Ashley yourself or know someone who is.

(The title of this post was inspired by the title of John Green’s novel, An Abundance of Katherines.)