#RealityTV: My Dad Was On #LoveAndHipHop and Other Musings

(Pictured: NOT my dad, but Mendeces from Love and Hip Hop New York)

Today I spoke to a college sociology class about reality television. One of the questions they asked was about how much is real versus what is produced, which got me thinking that it depends on the production company–as well as the network the show is produced for.

From what I see on Bravo, the “Real Housewives” seem to genuinely get into their scenes, sometimes almost forgetting cameras are around them. One could argue that they become more heated about interpersonal hiccups because they’re determined to give those cameras intensely “raw” emotions.

I don’t feel that same authenticity (that I personally sense with a show like Real Housewives of New York) with reality shows on other networks. My dad was once on VH1’s Love and Hip Hop and it seems, if you examine the footage, that producers were angling for a very dramatic reaction to a treatable diagnosis. It’s interesting to note that mom Yandy is wearing a leather jacket with spikes, definitely not my own OOTD for pediatric visits carrying babies. Also, spoiler alert, just so you are reassured: Her son is fine today.

I’ve watched other episodes of this show and the fighting between main cast members always catches me off-guard. I get the sense that a producer stands by urgently whispering into a cast member’s ear “Did you hear what she said about you? Are you really going to take that lying down?!” until they capture the fight that they deem just right.

Bravo’s Below Deck is another show, like RHONY, that I feel isn’t too heavily produced. It has the advantage of capturing people working and managing a ship with guests on board. The captain flustered with crew members, or a Chief Stew annoyed with the smart-mouthed deckhand, is relatable and understandable given the backdrop of a yacht with guests (and their own host of perplexing preferences, quirks and personalities) trying to run smoothly.

Whether other Reality shows are real or not might not even matter to you if you find the show to be entertaining. We all had a laugh in my family when my dad, an orthodox Jewish pediatrician wearing a yarmulke, made his reality TV debut as the “hip hop doc.” His patients and my family enjoyed seeing his face in the coming attractions, which not only aired during other VH1 shows, but on E! and during commercials on Bravo while my favorite (very) Real Housewives bared their souls and exposed their dirty laundry.

When one Housewife on RHONY ran to the pediatrician for her son’s hearing test, I appreciated the simple solid T and ragged jeans. That’s my own reality.

(Here’s that Love and Hip Hop clip: http://www.vh1.com/video-clips/ckkmpb/love-and-hip-hop-2-yandy-s-son-needs-surgery)

#politics, Cults, Psychology, public figures

#NXIVM: A #Trump Supporting Conspiracy Theorist’s Wet Dream

Frank Parlato, the man who is responsible for bringing NXIVM to your attention through his tenacious and brave blogging – the “whistleblower” who alerted The New York Times to the cult- is generous enough to share others’ wild stories on his blog. He’s also clever and cautious, prefacing those accounts with the disclaimer that they are alleged, rather than confirmed as absolute facts.

Months ago, Stormy Daniels denied, through her rep, that she had ever had anything to do with NXIVM and it’s sexual slavery sorority DOS. Nevertheless, one young man brought forth a rambling tale that sounds like a conspiracy theorist Trump supporter’s wet dream…or a hallucinogen-induced, mania-fueled rant.

Per Parlato’s The Frank Report, FrankReport.com:

The story claims that Anthony Weiner, Huma Abedin, James Alefantis, Eric Schneiderman, and Stormy Daniels joined sex slaver and pedophile Keith Raniere, Allison Mack and the Bronfman heiresses, Clare and Sara, at a NXIVM party to recruit young women to be nannies for children.

Big League Politics’ Patrick Howley writes:

“Ben Szemkus details an experience he had at a 2007 NXIVM party in Hamden, Connecticut. Szemkus, an independent citizen, testifies that he saw porn star Stormy Daniels, and Clinton adviser Huma Abedin and Anthony Weiner.

“NXIVM is a Satanist sex cult that sees its leaders Keith Raniere and Allison Mack standing trial for human trafficking and child sex trafficking.

“’I attended a NXIVM Recruitment Party/Mixer in February 2007 in Hamden, Connecticut in which I met Stormy Daniels as Well as some High Powered Political Figures and NXIVM Founders, Major Supporters and Members. Here is a written statement detailing My experience that night,” writes Ben Szemkus, detailing that Yale University female students were in attendance at this party.’

“Transcripts from Szemkus’ account are presented below. He describes the party as being “The Belly of the Beast.”

If it sounds too insane to be true, it probably isn’t…But, sadly, I do know people who will eat this story up voraciously without hesitation.

Reality TV

#TheProposal: What Was Mike Fleiss Thinking?

I am completely perplexed by The Proposal, a show that aired after the two hours usurped by other mindless drivel, something that’s nevertheless a guilty pleasure, TheBachelorette. When people commit 120 minutes of their Monday night to a vapid reality dating program, it’s bad enough. For ABC to tag on another hour for a program that goes so much lower than The Bachelor franchise ever would (and that’s saying something!) is a crime…As is the premise of The Proposal.

In the premiere episode, a guy named Mike sat behind a partition where he could see everything going on, but no one could see him. There was a stage fit for a pageant (we’re getting there shortly) and the host was Jesse Palmer, a former athlete and ABC Bachelor-turned sports host. Palmer could not have looked more uncomfortable for what lay ahead, and if you didn’t notice that, a source tells me he’s currently vacationing in Europe – which makes sense because I too would flee the country as this show started airing if I had his gig.

Palmer introduced a few young ladies to Mike and announced to the audience that at the end of the night, Mike would choose one special woman and there could be a proposal.

Did creator Mike Fleiss not learn from the disastrous fiasco of Rick Rockwell and Darva Conger? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Who_Wants_to_Marry_a_Multi-Millionaire%3F.

The women were introduced with taglines befitting first day of school intros. There was a baton twirler who also happened to be a neurosurgeon and someone named Alona who didn’t “want to be alone-a anymore.” I kid you not, the show was just that dumb.

There was even a swimsuit portion because of how important physical attraction is (the host made a deliberate point of stating this) – it’s especially important if you want to propose to someone in under an hour when there are other prospects to choose from, and you’re only getting to hear a few sentences out of each of their mouths.

From behind the partition, Mike issued questions that were neither deep nor probing. They were certainly not enough to get a person past a first date (especially since multiple women were fielding these questions) let alone to the wedding aisle. But in the end, Mike clearly picked the woman he found most attractive after another attractive candidate said she wasn’t open to having kids. Then there was the runner-up who might have lost out to the winner’s sparking effervescence (and perhaps, if I’m being candid, bigger chest).

Mike proposed to the sparkly, cute looking lass – whose name escapes me because this truly was the worst show on television and a wasted hour I’ll never get back. Then they kissed for the first time. Two strangers kissing on a stage before an audience…..

“You’re a great kisser,” he remarked after getting down on bended knee, proffering a Neil Diamond sparkler and hearing her accept his tres awkward proposal. The entire debacle was incredibly forced and that included panned shots of the badly-acting audience who had been coached to oooh and aaah and appear charmed by this….love story????

Here’s the thing: I felt this was the worst show I had seen in a very long time with the most ridiculous premise…but People magazine is reporting that this couple is still together months later. Yes…after only meeting for a matter of minutes on stage and getting “engaged.” I did notice there was no ring on her finger in the update video, so that’s something that needs to be explored. The couple do seem to be dating at the very least and may even be cohabiting.

I predict their relationship will last longer than this show runs.

The Proposal airs Monday nights at 10 PM EST on ABC with brand new contestants and suitors each week…but seriously, don’t bother watching it!

(Photo credit: Bryon Cohen/ABC)

Bravo TV, Reality TV

#SouthernCharm: Shep Rose & The Wendy Williams Mantra

“I’m a woman and I’m allowed to change my mind.” It’s a quote often uttered by popular talk show host Wendy Williams and one I find myself using this season of Bravo’s Southern Charm. I interviewed Shep Rose at the beginning of last season for Huffington Post Contributor platform and I may have (mis)interpreted his confidence for arrogance. I see a kinder, gentler Shep this season, especially with regard to his treatment of one-time-underdog Kathryn Dennis, who is currently having a stellar redemptive season.

I read the Vulture recap analyzing the Chelsea and Shep dynamic of last season and wondered about it myself in a post. I wondered if Shep was being too grabby and feeling too entitled with Chelsea during a drunken moment. Perhaps I was too hard on Shep because I do know that with reality television, there’s editing, slicing, dicing and “franken-biting” (where parts of two different sentences are joined together). I know that contexts are often unseen.

A Bravo employee hinted to me (after the fact) that I had gotten the wrong take on Shep, that many people had gotten the wrong impression last season.

So Shep, if you’re reading this little blog (which I doubt you are), I apologize if I judged you too harshly. In my Huffington Post articles, I often gave my perspective as contributors do, but I like what I see of you this season. You seem sincere, humbled and determined to treat women, and all people, respectfully. This season, you appear to be a mensch. I’m a woman and I’ve changed my mind.

For old time’s sake, here’s an article with an interview that I conducted with Shep Rose early last season. It was published in my Huffington Post Contributor archive:

Shep Rose….He’s the guy I once dated. Well not literally, but many years ago before I was married, I met my own cultured playboy who seemed fearful of commitment. We quickly went from dating to just friends and I watched and observed his social antics wryly. I teased him about his many many dates and short-lived conquests, his incessant bar hopping, his seemingly unlimited freedom and how others had to maintain a demanding day job and stick to limited alcohol consumption.

Well, my own version of Shep Rose – the actual Shep being a main character on Bravo’s reality show Southern Charm – is not someone I stayed in touch with as my circles inevitably changed. However, the familiarity from this past friendship endears me to the person I see on TV. My own acquaintance was a New Yorker rather than a Charlestonian, but in many ways Shep reminds me of him.

Southern Charm is mostly about entertainment and observing a different way of life for me, but it’s also sort of a walk down memory lane with a major location change. Also, to be fair, many (but not all) of the surrounding characters in my experience were not as wealthy as the Charlestonians. (I personally was living paycheck to paycheck in a low-rent shoebox of a room in an Upper West Side Manhattan apartment). Watching this show is also a way for me to get to know the South and specifically, a part of the country I’ve never visited.

The notion of “Southern Gentlemen” is a puzzling one when you look at the eclectic male characters on Southern Charm – especially Shep. Thomas has a political as well as criminal past and now also has two children with his gorgeous ex-girlfriend Kathryn – who temporarily lost custody.

Craig was on his way to becoming a lawyer and the rest of the cast is harping on what happened to his aspirations (he recently purchased a sewing machine and we see him embroidering a lot). Austen is the new guy and he’s cute. He seems to have snapped up Shep’s prior love interest Chelsea.

As the biggest charmer, Shep doesn’t seem happy about this on the show. Whitney, who was a main character in prior seasons, now seems to sit on the periphery stirring up drama. (He is actually the one who introduced the Southern Charm concept to Bravo.)

The guy to get the most questions from viewers and to get me scratching my own head was Shep because things have taken a drastically different turn for him this season. As a longtime fan of the series, you can imagine how excited I was to have the opportunity to ask Shep a few things viewers wanted to know.

SHW: Fans of the show wonder why you seem to pick on Craig for not being ambitious enough and not having finished on his path to becoming a lawyer. Viewers express how it seems like you’ve never really needed to work-

SR: Not true. I’m certainly not set for life! I have bills to pay and incoming and outgoing cash. My question to those critics and people on Twitter: How does that have anything to do with Craig? I don’t get the correlation. I do get guff about that on the Internet, but what is the connection between my 9 to 5 status and Craig?! I’m tough on him personally. I never mention finances. Craig begs to be ribbed. You don’t even know the half of it. He’s a sweet guy and a nice guy and I really like him. He just begs for it with the things he says and does and we ALL give him a hard time – Cameron and Whitney too. I don’t really have any problems with Craig and my relationship today. There are things you don’t see on TV. If they showed the extent of Craig’s insanity, you’d know he got off so easily. He was very defensive which is one thing I wish he wouldn’t be. I want him to be happy and it just so happens that he recently passed the bar exam. I’m very proud of him. There’s no conflict there and I apologize that there was.

SHW: We saw that you were interested in Chelsea, had hung out with her romantically and then Austen swooped in. The podcast Watch What Crappens just brought up that you said something in the first season about being “over-educated and under-motivated.” Could that be why you’re not meeting women with long term potential for you?

SR: No. it’s in MY mind. I’m not your Ozzie and Harriet person and that’s all I have to go by. I’m not that “Hi Honey, I’m home” conventional man and it’s something I grapple with. I think I need to find someone who is unconventional as well. I love this city and there are drop dead gorgeous women here. I’ve been in love before and I’m a big proponent of it, but the world of relationships is changing Things are different than they were even 15 years ago in this regard. You can be ready for a serious relationship but still not meet somebody. I’m certainly not going to force anything. I know what it feels like when you should get married and I’m not going to sell myself short.

SHW: So that actually brings me to the question of whether or not you think Patricia is telling Landon and Thomas to settle for one another?

SR: Um, I don’t know. They both can tell you all about themselves…a lot! Maybe that’s good. They can sit at home and be enamored with one another…I do think there were unrealistic attempts…to force them together. Ultimately, I don’t think it would work. I don’t know who would be perfect for Landon, but I think Thomas is too alpha and there would be a butting of heads down the road.

SHW: Did you really want to go after Chelsea – even a bit after Austen first started seeing her and we didn’t know if it was anything beyond a first date – or was that Cameron’s prodding?

SR: I’ve known Chelsea for a while. I know a handful of guys that have dated her so when we kind of made out before I went off to my friend’s wedding, I decided to explore potentially seeing her. I didn’t reach out enough when I was on the trip. I know what to do to hold someone’s attention but I just didn’t do it. It kind of bothered me that I was the last one to know about Austen and her. I mean, you see that we were all out and I was whispering in her ear. He saw that and didn’t say anything. I’m a free love guy so I certainly didn’t tell him to back off. Had I known initially, I would have said ‘if she likes you then I don’t want to stand in her and your way.’

SHW: So that actually brings me to the question of whether or not you think Patricia is telling Landon and Thomas to settle for one another?

SHW: Did you really want to go after Chelsea – even a bit after Austen first started seeing her and we didn’t know if it was anything beyond a first date – or was that Cameron’s prodding?

SHW: Going into this season, were you at all nervous due to the political environment? There were some reactions to Thomas and Kathryn’s (pro Trump) Twitter posts.

SR: Oh my god! The opinions expressed there were not my own. Everything is out there so you can find out exactly what I think about the political situation. People who will agree with me will agree with me, and others, I can’t change their mind anyway! It’s just crazy today. That’s what I think.

SW: Do you see Kathryn regularly? I know she was going through very hard times. How is she doing these days?

SR: I don’t know. I sent her a message about someone wanting to find a dress store in Monk’s Corner, but didn’t hear back. I have no problem with her and when we see each other, it’s hugs and we kind of go into the corner and talk. But she keeps to herself. I am concerned about her well being as always and if she reached out, I’d be happy to talk to her. I think she’s doing fine, but I couldn’t fully answer that right now.

(Shep’s headshot courtesy of Bravo)

Bravo TV, Reality TV

#ShahsOfSunset: Shervin no longer Swervin’ Our Way?

Tamara Tattles has a ton of new tea on one of my favorite Bravo reality shows Shahs of Sunset: http://tamaratattles.com/2018/06/19/exclusive-tamara-tattles-has-the-tea-on-shahs-of-sunset-season-seven/.

According to her sources, Shervin Roohparvar wasn’t wiling enough to share details of his private life after personal scandals last season…And that girlfriend from Down Under, Annalise? She may just have been for show – an on-air squeeze “cast” as his girlfriend rather than the real deal. Attach a big red A for ALLEGEDLY to that.

As Tamara points out in her post, Shervin isn’t even mentioned in the press release announcing the new season. This may actually have come as a shock to him that scenes he filmed were cut out. Asa Soltan had also filmed for the upcoming season, but she too was demoted during the editing process to a “friend of” and we will only see her pop in from time to time.

Expect a mini storyline about Asa not being invited to MJ’s wedding, as Tamara mentions in her post.

When and where Sherv may swerve this season, if at all? Right now, it’s anybody’s guess.

(A link to my interview with Shervin from last season: https://www.google.com/amp/s/m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_59828bbee4b094ff5a3f0bc7/amp.)

Photo source for Shervin’s headshot: Bravo TV