#RHOBH Recap: Holy Schnitzel…& Popcorn! (Ep. 816)

The Berlin trip continues on the latest episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and there are some highlights:

HORSES AND HO’S

Lisa Rinna losing control of her horse and calling out “ho, ho, ho” makes for an entertaining scene akin to Lu losing control of her camel on RHONY. Then there is Kyle’s panic attack following an allergic reaction to the horses. So many viewers are asking why she went horse back riding if she knows she is allergic, but who wants to be the odd woman out when filming a show? I would make the same mistake.

BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL

What was particularly noteworthy about the latter is that the crew and cameramen had to get involved and help Kyle, so we got to see the whole entourage. Of course, there was one guy who filmed all of this happening so let’s discount him or her. It was one of those moments that Bravo and Evolution Media was so kind to share, reminding us that the crew does actually care for the cast members…That said, they still do have to capture it on camera.

ACKNOWLEDGING TEDDI JO

Only Teddi was in her element around these animals and Erika complimented her, much to Teddi’s surprise. This peace between the two will not last long as previews for next week indicate.

THE FIGHT ABOUT A FIGHT ABOUT A FIGHT

Of course, the mindless bickering continues in this episode. Dorit brings up her aggravation with Kyle in New York…again. We see Erika dressed like a 1940s movie star for this dinner and she has invited all the ladies to her presidential suite to eat. She thinks this will be a nice meal, but after the other ladies eschew the veal (because who could eat a baby animal. Wearing fur and eating steak is one thing, but veal???!Erika is not having any of this bullshit and is eating the veal), she’s busy exchanging glances with Kyle. Ms. Richards is just recovering from her allergic reaction to the horses + panic attack and is amazed that Dorit has launched another attack on her, especially given the timing.

LIVING FOR LISA RINNA

Pan to Lisa Rinna in a testimonial who is so relieved the drama isn’t about her this season. Rinna is the best thing about the show this tedious season and she’s been so hilarious that I can state with certainty she’s the only reason I keep watching. She’s actually munching on popcorn in her testimonial, the observer to this ridiculous nonsense.

HOLOCAUST MEMORIAL

The next day, the ladies tour a Holocaust memorial which impressed me because I kept associating Berlin with this tragic time in history. Kyle talks about Mauricio’s Holocaust descendants and Dorit tells a touching story about her grandfather being reunited with the mother he was separated from during the war.

They tour some more and touch on the famous Berlin Wall. Of course, after all this heavy stuff we need a scene of the Housewives partying with the locals, dancing the German Hora, drinking lots of beer and allegedly downing carbs (according to Kyle) that will surely lead to fasting and juicing the next day. At least for Teddi who is accountable.

I look forward to how Rinna handles the drama between Teddi and Erika next week…if those previews are accurate.

Bravo TV, Reality TV

#RHOBH: God Gives Dorit What She Can Handle (& Us? A Lack of Storylines), Ep 815

Are you there, God? It’s me Shira. And no, that wasn’t a dig at YOU my Lord, but addressed to the god/s at NCB Universal who left the most salacious storylines of this season on the cutting room floor. (To give them the benefit of the doubt, let’s go with that.)

The good news about this latest episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, titled “Dames, Dogs and Danke,” is that after we see Porsha Umansky packing while wearing her “The Agency” T, Kyle chiding her for keeping those green Christmas pants with red bulbs sewn in, and Dorit sashaying into a showroom for her beachwear line sporting ANOTHER fanny pack, the ladies change it up and are in Berlin.

One interesting thing before we get to Germany (that blasted country where my luggage got lost once when I went on biz and I can never forgive them. Considering that I’m Jewish, I think I’m being very generous giving that as my reason for disliking the land. Oh yes, I went there!): Dorit makes a comment about how God only gives you what you can handle (a very Jewish expression, by the way) because – get this – she’s soooooooo busy and HOWDOESSHEEVERGETITALLDONE?!!!! This is a familiar refrain to women worldwide, but it seems that Dorit gets it all done with a ton of nannies and other types of help. I also never got the sense that this work on Beverly Beach is full time, but correct me if I’m wrong here.

Realizing she is also filming a reality TV show, there may in fact be an overwhelming load to juggle. Including PK. He shares an endearing scene with Dorit at the screening of Lisa Vanderpump’s touching film about her work saving Yulin dogs and bringing awareness to that cause. It’s pretty scandalous (all things considered when you assess the current season of RHOBH overall) that Dorit mixes sour gummies in with popcorn! It’s rather preposterous actually. She and PK share some banter over this and we’re supposed to believe that stick skinny Dorit normally pigs out in this manner at the movie theater….Just as Rinna indulged in Erika’s cookies while she and Dorit were visiting and admiring Erika Jayne’s avatar for the Kardashian game.

Also notable: Prior to the tear inducing film screening, Dorit calls LVP while she’s getting her makeup done. Their conversation goes something like this:

Dorit: I’m so sorry about the death of your other dog Pikachu so soon after Pink Dog’s demise.

LVP: Thank you, Dorit, but I really cannot talk about it now or I’ll be too emotional at the event tonight.

Dorit: But it’s just so devastating after the loss of your last dog. It’s so soon. I know you don’t want to talk about it, but it’s just so horrible.

LVP: Thank you Dorit, but I REALLY don’t want to talk about it now.

Dorit: Oh, but it’s so absolutely tragically awful. You must be having such a hard time and you know that the other ladies are going to bring it up tonight. I’m so sorry Lisa for the loss of Pikachu. You just have no idea how sorry I am.

LVP (gritting her teeth): Do you EVER shut up, Dorit? I told you I don’t want to discuss it.

(Rinse and repeat.)

Makeup Artist: Rolls his eyes and smirks

Well, let’s skip ahead to Berlin where an entire hotel staff greets the women including the hotel chain’s PR and Marketing head. They’ve been briefed by production and Bravo that this is a very important show that will give them incredible representation, especially since so many people travel to Berlin (…not the Jews).

Erika is given the Presidential Suite because this is her trip…and well, because she’s Erika Jayne. The ladies are all given luxurious suites but they pale in comparison to the divine queen EJ’s. However, my entire house in New Jersey pales in comparison to these suites so I am one to talk.

Dorit got really sick on the airplane ride over, but when the German doctor visits, he is able to give her the quickest explanation for her baffling ailments and he looks at her as if to say “Stupid American!” She mixed Zithromax with Tamaflu, which one must not mix together….and had a Bloody Mary on top of that, according to LVP.

When the Housewives go out to dinner, sans the resting and recuperating Dorit, Erika is late because she’s discussing “lewks” with Mikey and dons a jacket that could be Chanel but is, no doubt, more expensive. Then she calls the hotel to arrange for a dinner the following night. It will be in her lavish suite with the group. While Dorit and Teddi have been able to put their differences aside and embrace following another apology for the apology for the earlier apology…LVP gets out of hand. First she tells Rinna that she’s been too subdued lately. I interpreted this as a warning from LVP to Rinna: “You’re not bringing enough of your characteristic shit- stirring to remain relevant on this show!” or, as Rinna sees it “You’re not doing my dirty work anymore!” In either case, it’s enough to be perceived as the show matriarch chiding a cast member of lesser standing. Rinna, do NOT fall for it. We are all enjoying you this season! And not that much else….

For me, Rinna has been a breath of fresh comedy this season. She is like an outside observer finally assessing the craziness of these batty ladies on our TV screens and hers.

LVP then gets mad at Kyle for forgetting who her grandmother Nanny Kay is. “How can you not remember Nanny Kay? I mention her all the bloody time!” exclaims LVP as we see a flashback scene of her discussing her gradnmother. “I thought you were referencing a character in a musical,” says Kyle. “No, that’s Mary Poppins!” LVP says exasperatedly. (I am completely paraphrasing this entire conversation obviously.) Kyle is caught completely off guard, but that’s what she gets for not keeping up. With LVP, it is best for everyone else to look at this situation like they are competing on Big Brother. It is essential to commit everything to memory or you’ll be accused of treason and disloyalty.

As Erika notes, the implication from LVP is: What sort of a friend are you who doesn’t LISTEN to me when I’m talking?!

EJ’s expression also says it all, followed by a characteristic eye roll.

Tune in next week for more Berlin.

Bravo TV, Reality TV

#RHOP: Monique Samuels Launches ‘Not For Lazy Moms’ Parenting Site

Monique Samuels stars on Real Housewives of Potomac which is returning to Bravo this month. Despite her lavish lifestyle (and multiple luxurious homes), she says that her Jersey-based extended family has kept her rooted and down to earth. Monique’s dad made sure she wasn’t out driving until she learned to change a tire and check under the hood of a car and life was not always as glamorous for Monique as it is today. She values a good work ethic, managing her husband’s real estate investment company. First and foremost, she is a mom to two young kids and that is her primary focus. Being married to Chris Samuels, a six-time Pro Bowl left tackle who played for the Washington Redskins, hasn’t caused her to lose sight of the importance of hands-on parenting. Currently nanny-less while her kids are in school programs, she has always felt that it’s important to not have anyone else raising her children. When things were busier and the kids were not yet in pre-school, she had help, but describes the arrangement as follows: “We collaborated. When she (the nanny) was doing laundry, I would do things with the kids. You work together so the kids definitely get quality time with their mom!”

When Monique’s son was fussy due to allergies, it made her search for some natural remedies in addition to running to her pediatrician. “I’m not a naturopath,” she explains, “But I do like to find what will keep me from reaching for Motrin, if that’s possible. I like to find the essential oils that can give some relief.I’m very big on essential oils.” Monique just launched the parenting lifestyle website Not For Lazy Moms at the insistence of friends who appreciated her insight and advice.

“My friends would ask me about some natural remedies and I would be researching and making these suggestions and they said ‘You really need to start a website where you share this with others.” I urge people first to go to the pediatrician! But it doesn’t hurt to do your research and complement that with natural remedies so you can potentially lessen the number of sick visits.” Not For Lazy Moms began as a Facebook group. Monique would also record videos and the NFLM site went live on October 30th.

Although brand new, some early 5 star reviews are in because Monique initially brought this concept to the Not For Lazy Moms Facebook group she created:

Not For Lazy Moms is not only about health and wellness though. It also encompasses other areas of parenting and encourages moms – “not Perfect Patties” as Monique says – to be candid about struggles and ways to overcome them.

Regarding the title of the site, “What mom is lazy?! I don’t think ANY mom is lazy,” stresses Monique, “I want to be clear that the name is pure snark. Wracking our brains to figure out what’s good for our kids, what’s beneficial for our marriages and how to spice things up as couples…Those are all things we deal with. That was my impetus for starting Not For Lazy Moms. I’ve learned how to get my kids to get to bed by 8 pm so my husband and I can enjoy some time to ourselves after. It’s not always about going out, some times it’s just enjoying some wine or a cigar – on occasion and having ‘date night’ at home.”

“I know this is not easy for parents in general. You should come in and smell our home! We use essential oils and We have a diffuser going…I rub some essential oils on my kids feet before going into bed. My husband and I do the same. We all have to work hard to figure out the routines and learn what’s effective so we can be in bed peacefully by a certain time and having things running smoothly in our lives. I really want this website to be a place to hear from other mothers, for moms to exchange ideas and discuss what works, for moms to ask questions and get answers. My friend Valerie is actually a matchmaker who contributes to the site and will give parents great ideas on keeping the spark, something parents of really young kids and babies can forget to prioritize or struggle with.”

Monique has been very busy lately recording televised morning segments that provide tips to moms. She is also working on developing a podcast (that will also likely be titled Not For Lazy Moms). When I ask her if other cast members from Real Housewives Of Potomac will be involved with the website, she says that anything is possible further down the line. However, this is not about Bravo. It’s about helping moms connect with other relatable, everyday moms.

“Whether you want a recipe for homemade play dough that you can make with your kids, or date night ideas for you and your significant other, I want this to be a place where moms go for excellent ideas! We are also interested in having other moms be contributors. There is a tab on the site for that. I love interacting with people and sharing some of my thoughts and the things I’ve learned from real life, hands-on experience.”

You can check out Monique’s website at: www.NotForLazyMoms.com or follow her on Twitter @https://twitter.com/iammrssamuels.

(This article previously ran in my Huffington Post Contributor archive)

Documentary

The Keepers, The Cosby Victims: Repressed Memories Versus the Courts

Netflix’s True Crime binge The Keepers has us captivated from episode 2 through its finale in episode 7. I leave out the first episode only because we don’t see the whole terrifying picture initially. We hear in episode 1 that a nun was murdered – suddenly, brutally and seemingly without context – and that’s not something to take lightly at all. However, we’re given an even weightier context in episode 2, the equation of murder plus molestation. Around the same time Sister Cathy Cesnik was abducted (and later found lifeless in the woods), a local girl suffered the same fate.

In episode 2 we learn that the young nun had been a protector of students in a girls’ Catholic school who were being molested and raped by the head priest in charge. We soon discover that the story is more intricate than we ever could have imagined. The nun very likely may have been killed because she was about to report the crimes to the police and had just let the main perpetrator, Father Joseph Maskell, know that she was on to him.The Keepers becomes focused on the acts of molestation that occurred in the school and how it seemed impossible they were not linked to the murders. The documentary arose after a Facebook group of former students (now in their 60s) formed with the objective of solving the crime, supporting each other as fellow victims, and ultimately, bringing justice for their beloved teacher’s murder and to Sister Cathy’s living family members.

We often hear of molesters grooming their victims, but we don’t hear as much about them enlisting other perpetrators to join them in their crimes. In the Keepers, some young students in the 1970s were sought out by these molesters because they seemed easy to take advantage of. Father Maskell is the first who then encourages another priest and a Baltimore police officer to have their turns with the minors. It is horrifying to hear and these minors are now mothers and grandmothers, women trying to remember the terribly shameful abuse that their minds have done everything possible to block out. Some of the victims have NOT repressed the memories and when they finally came forward, thanks to Facebook, their accounts lend credence to the case for Jeane, a woman who struggled with the memories.

Unfortunately, Father Maskell passed away and will not be brought to ultimate justice in this life time, although he was brought to court in the 1990s before the notion of “repressed memory” was discredited. Back then, there was no Facebook to bring forth the women (and a man) who so clearly did remember the abuse. Today, there is strength in number for his victims when it comes to recalling past experiences and feeling validated after suffering psychologically for decades.

“Experts in the field of memory and trauma can provide some answers, but clearly more study and research are needed,” states the American Psychological Association website APA.org about repressed memory. “Experienced clinical psychologists state that the phenomenon of a recovered memory is rare (e.g., one experienced practitioner reported having a recovered memory arise only once in 20 years of practice). Although laboratory studies have shown that memory is often inaccurate and can be influenced by outside factors, memory research usually takes place either in a laboratory or some everyday setting. For ethical and humanitarian reasons, memory researchers do not subject people to a traumatic event in order to test their memory of it. Because the issue has not been directly studied, we can not know whether a memory of a traumatic event is encoded and stored differently from a memory of a nontraumatic event.

Some clinicians theorize that children understand and respond to trauma differently from adults. Some furthermore believe that childhood trauma may lead to problems in memory storage and retrieval. These clinicians believe that dissociation is a likely explanation for a memory that was forgotten and later recalled. Dissociation means that a memory is not actually lost, but is for some time unavailable for retrieval. That is, it’s in memory storage, but cannot for some period of time actually be recalled. Some clinicians believe that severe forms of child sexual abuse are especially conducive to negative disturbances of memory such as dissociation or delayed memory. Many clinicians who work with trauma victims believe that this dissociation is a person’s way of sheltering himself or herself from the pain of the memory. Many researchers argue, however, that there is little or no empirical support for such a theory.”

When watching The Keepers, one must keep in mind how taboo sexual abuse was for those who attended high school 47 years ago. One must furthermore imagine why such shameful memories from those times could be mentally shunned by an individual (even subconsciously). Jeane recalls attending confession as a student in the catholic school to disclose how her uncle had molested her. The priest then asked to see her face and she felt the shame as he let her know that’s exactly how she should feel – like a damaged slut, a bad girl for having been molested and deserving of further punishment. She was someone he would go on to molest and he would encourage his small circle of trusted friends (including the other priest and the police officer) to do the same. As mentioned above, some of Father Maskell’s victims went public with their accounts of abuse as adults and in 1992, when reports were first made, people questioned the idea of “repressed memories.” The victims’ testimonies were discredited temporarily as those in the psychiatric community suggested that members of their own profession had planted false memories in patients’ minds.

Despite the schism between clinicians and practitioners and the difficulty of quantifying empirical evidence, practitioners who attest to the realness of “repressed memories” explain that victims of abuse mentally shut down in the face of trauma and post traumatic stress. Before The Keepers outlined the efforts of the women to trace Sister Cathy’s murder and tie up loose ends of a mystery, comedian Bill Cosby’s victims began to come forward and that drama played out in the public arena. Drugs were administered by both Father Huxtable and Father Maskell to their victims, to cloud the already murky memories of torturous and incomprehensible situations, crimes committed by publicly respected and trusted paternal figures.

MSNBC.com

Cosby, The Women – a recent New York Magazine cover

Today, people are commonly taught from a young age: No one should touch you in this way. In the post- Spotlight (the recent blockbuster hit about sexual abuse in the Catholic church) era, there is much discussion and an awareness of the sexual abuse history attached to the Catholic Church. Those who teach in religious schools are more seriously vetted. New, strict rules are in place (i.e. more than one teacher in the classroom) and everything is sized up greatly behind a veil of scrutiny. It cannot be easy to be a priest in 2017. Inappropriate behavior is more likely to be reported, but there are still children in the United States who are vulnerable and don’t have proper and adequate support systems. There are still children who do not have the strength to come forward as compared to their peers. Victims of circumstance, these boys and girls may also lack the mental fortitude to remember.

The Keepers is currently available on Netflix.

(This article originally ran on in my Huffington Post archive in July of 2017.)

Bravo TV, Reality TV

#RHOBH Recap: Heaven Help Us! (Ep. 814)

In the latest episode of The Real Filler Scenes of Beverly Hills, a psychic steals a storyline straight from The Twilight Zone, claiming to have a direct (telephone) line to heaven. But more on that later. We begin with an unnecessary apology from a very practical, responsible and all-too-reasonable (for this show anyway) Accountability Coach to a woman sporting a Gucci fanny pack, off-kilter blonde wig and narrow heels…all from the comfort of her own home.

Dorit rolls her eyes as soon as she sees Teddi’s calling and gives her a hard time. Teddi is wondering why she can’t get the response “I accept” immediately. She should have known not to bother in the first place, but Teddi has never watched Real Housewives of Beverly Hills before….or so she’s claimed in interviews.

Teddi is stating to Dorit that she’s sorry for giving Lisa Rinna the heads up that Dorit and PK were maligning Rinna months before. In actuality, the crux of this apology is that Teddi feels the heat from all the rehashing so common among the group. She is also trying to show she’s accountable for her actions and can admit when she’s wrong…Unlike a certain someone whose name rhymes with Shmoreet.

The ladies go to lunch later with Rinna’s mom Lois who is a feisty 89 and can order whatever the hell she likes from a menu. Lois had a stroke years ago that seemed to zap the parts of the brain that freak out from stress and anxiety and cause a perfectly sane person to feel depressed. She is as cool as a cucumber and loving life. Rinna has told her mom that she can snap at the ladies to behave if they start to act petty and Lois is up for that challenge. She ends up having to hear all about Dorit’s bathing suit business and Camille happily points out once again (in a testimonial) that Dorit just cannot shut the hell up.

Teddi is relieved that Erika is not there because she’s at some Girl Power event that is a combo of Ted Talks and Coachella. It sounds like a nightmare to me personally because 2 of the other panelists are Tyra Banks and Kimora Lee Simmons. I’m OK with Tyra, but Kimora Lee is one of those “famous” and affluent women who aggravates me in a way that I can’t explain, but Lala Anthony would be the other person that has the same cringe-inducing effect on me and it has something to do with their egos…or how I perceive their egos to be. I frequently mentally banish them both to that category of my mind – I do realize that Lois would never be as petty as I’m being.

Anyway, at this lunch with Lois, Rinna gifts the other ladies with Dusters from her eponymous collection. They all gush over the presents while adoring the senior citizen at the table. They particularly envy her ability to chow down on pancakes as they all push salad around their plates and reach for the Adderall in their respective pocketbooks.

Later on, the Housewives go to Kyle’s house where she is holding a seance with her favorite psychic, Rebecca. Lisa Vanderpump is there as well and she’s mourning the loss of “Pink Dog.” It is a loss that has hit her and her husband Ken quite hard. Ken blames himself and says that he should have seen it coming, while LVP explains that it was completely unexpected and there was no way to know. She shares that another one of her dogs is now struggling and is on a ventilator. I cannot help but think that it may be time for LVP to hire Shannon Beador’s feng shui lady and put nine lemons in a bowl STAT.

Rebecca The Psychic then tells the ladies she has a direct telephone line to God who she calls “Papa God.” This freaked me out because as I mentioned above, there truly is a Twilight Zone episode where a little boy’s telephone line goes directly to his recently deceased grandma. Teddi is a skeptic just like I am, but Rebecca is able to tap into something with her emotionally when she mentions the loss of a friend during childhood. At that point, the suppressed memory of a friend Teddi lost in sixth grade resurfaces. She’s happy that this was something that Rebecca brought up, even if the “psychic” is a total crock.

From the “Long Distance Call” episode of The Twilight Zone

Rebecca also connects with Lisa’s dogs and mentions “Pink Dog” – at which point she says she saw LVP tweet about her loss that very morning. Now this was a very revealing moment for me because psychics don’t normally discuss checking things out on social media. And if Rebecca is perusing Twitter, then who is to say she’s not checking Ancestry.com, Lexis Nexis, Government Databases…even simply Googling for information?

After the psychic readings, Erika announces that the ladies will all be going to Berlin and she even manages a quasi-apology to Teddi for her earlier outburst as she invites her along. Berlin is an interesting choice for a trip and I can’t help imagining how Siggy Flicker would have reacted had the location been proposed on last season’s RHONJ (Google: History of Berlin and the Jewish people). I don’t think it would have gone over well at all, but the Beverly Hills ladies are excited. I went to Germany once and my luggage got lost and was never returned. I’ll never forget that because it was devastating – That was back in my 20s when I had incredible, expensive clothing and gave more than a damn about fashion. I came home with a brand new German wardrobe since I needed to shop for things to wear to my meetings.

I’m no psychic but my prediction with RHOBH is that there will be more tension up ahead between Erika and Teddi….

Actually, it was Twitter that gave me that indication. Rebecca and I have something in common.